I've finally figured out why I'm so awkward now. It's because last year and the years before I was a lot angrier and I hated everything. I started the new year off really well, and first impressions are key. I've never been so happy in my life, I'm so content it's a little sickening. This weird change of pace has left me clueless.
I want to visit the Mutter Museum one of these days
Jens, oh sweet sweet Jens! You made a beautiful song a little more beautiful
The original is always better though
I just got the chills Whenever I hear a good song, it's kind of like falling in love. My heart beats a little too fast, I get kind of nervous and choked up and all I want is a cigarette, but in a good way. I want to wake up to this song everyday, I'm going to, alternating between Jens and Arthur, and maybe everyday will be a good day!
-I feel like I haven't slept since the 11 hour period I slept between friday and saturday - I've been having a crazy allergy attack for the past week and a half, I think I may be allergic to rye bread? - I have so much school work - I keep feeling like I'm going to cry because I'm so stressed and my sinuses make me feel like I've been crying all day - I'm super anxious and bored and I'm over this whole celeb crush on Steve Berra thing, I need some new faces -I wish everyday felt like this:
DOES ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD GET AS EXCITED AS I DO WHEN I HEAR THAT THE PITCHFORK MUSIC FEST LINEUP IS BEING ANNOUNCED??I won't fuck up this year and I'll actually commit and buy tickets early.
I have to admit it, I am a fucking fan girl. I love theberrics.com too much. The weird part of the obsession is that I really have no reason to love the berrics so much because I am not interested in skateboarding at all. I have mini celeb crushes on Steve Berra, and Eric Koston, and Butteryass Donovan.This shit is too clever for me to comprehend. I'm spending the rest of my night with tea, frozen junior mints and wednesdays with Reda, who I am rocking a love/hate relationship with.
- I'm disappointed in Alexander McQueen's line for target, so tacky, so Limited Too. - I'm disappointed in my friends, I want to scream "IT'S NOT THE END OF THE WORLD" but I guess I'd be a hypocrite. - I'm disappointed in my self for my weird self righteous tendency that is kind of demeaning. I fucked up my foot, I can't walk properly. I feel like this is how I look:
I wish you still did drugs so I could know that you still feel low sometimes. This way I could know that we're still on the same level, that there was no hierarchy of scale in this situation, that is by the way nonexistent. I just wish you could self destruct so I could know that you're not doing better without me. I think you are doing better, not because of the lack of my presence, just because you've found whatever you may have been looking for but I don't even know if you were looking for something. I just wish you weren't so damn happy and that I wasn't so damn miserable. The fact is that I'm not really miserable but the fact that you're so damn happy brings me really down. I don't want to talk to you, I just want to sit you down and drug you up and I want you to scrutinize every aspect of your life, and then I want you to sober up and regret it. I just want you to suffer a little. I think this maybe a little sadistic but I just want what I want.
I have cash for the first time in a while, $90 to be exact, minus $30 for personal expenses but you know..... I hate getting money to go shopping because I never know what to buy, and although $60 doesn't seem like a lot, I can manage to get a shitload. But I don't know what I want to wear! I currently have 3 t-shirts that I wear, 4 pairs of leggings, a couple pairs of tights with crazy runs, a couple flannels, 4 cardigans, 2 hoodies, a pair of docs and a pair of converse. This is literally all I wear. I always throw all my clothes away or I just have a bunch of clothes that I never wear but don't throw away. And I am too cheap buy real clothes so I only thrift and go clearance hunting. The only items I buy for full price are leggings from American Apparel ($40 is steep for leggings, but if they last just as long or longer then a cheap pair of jeans, which I no longer wear, then why not?) and occasionally shoes. I wish there wasn't a recession, I still had a job, and wasn't so god damn cheap. That or I wish I still shoplifted so I could just steal my shit. I also realized that half of the clothes that I have I stole and that's why I wouldn't get stressed out about it. Damn my terrible skills though because I would still be in heaven if I didn't get caught.
I also have a $25 gift card to Target, my favorite store, and I was going to buy some shit online but I think I'm just going to buy a bunch of cheap makeup. sdsadlkfhsdflksdfdsf I hate Sundays, even if I don't have school tomorrow. THANKS CASIMIR PULASKI AND THANKS CHICAGO FOR HAVING THE LARGEST POLISH POPULATION OUT SIDE OF WARSAW, AND THANKS LANE FOR HAVING SO MUCH POLSKA PRIDE! An Ode to Casimir Pulaski:
