I don't sleep anymore
all I do is pull out my hair

I need to

stop thinking with my nonexistent dick

I don't want you, I just want your good qualities

I fucked up

how do you say
"Sorry that I literally raped you while I was black out drunk"?
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

conciously
unconcious

I regret not applying to any out of state schools
because the realization that you're excited for everyone to leave is fucked up
I could have just left myself

when you stop breathing
because something that makes you nervous or excited
and your heart stops beating
and your lungs aren't inflating
then you get over the wave because of disappointment
and your heart starts beating again
and your lung inflate again
it feels like you just had a heart attack
and nothing can make you feel like you had 15 seconds before
and no amount of nicotine can fill the void in your chest
that is the worst feeling in the world

ICU

my life has themes, or cycles
the current theme is unsatisfactory and for me and is socially unacceptable
I have a reputation to uphold.
I feel terrible and I can't sleep.

note to self:

encouragement is unnecessary and innaporpriate
it's not the same anymore

suicide status

most annoying night ever?

- listened to another self righteous black rant during dinner, it started "THE WORLD IS TURNING BLACK!"

- don't spit game if you go into self righteous "everyone is ruining the scene" indie rants, dude, that's so me circa 2006. GET ON MY LEVEL, and get over it.

- listening to another hour long conversation about facebook between my aunt and dad.

also, I still don't get what the fucks up with triangles.

I'M FUCKING EMBARRASSED!

I'M FUCKING STUPID!
UASDKHAKSDA;SDLDFLSDFK
I hate myself
not really
ANGST


this post is for katie chung

There are a few things that need to be adressed:

- Your boyfriend is the only dude that still makes me nervous
- Why does the army completely fuck you up?
- Shit didn't go down because my friend's saw the texts, but it was a dumb idea anywyays.
- Uh you probz hate me, but I love you and I'm sad you're leaving!
- I'm sorry I was bogus and kissed your boyfriend, but I'm not really that sorry and I did it infront of you and you didn't notice, it was nothing.
- What's the point of lying about having a girlfriend? No one gives a fuck dude, and it doesn't change anyone's mind. People are going to do what they want regardless of other people who don't know what's happening.
-You really need to stop doing so many drugs.
-You really need to stop fucking so many people, especially random people. I love you because you're a slut, but really, it's not safe.

this song was my low key anthem of winter break

this song was my hype anthem of winter break