11:11

I wish you still did drugs so I could know that you still feel low sometimes. This way I could know that we're still on the same level, that there was no hierarchy of scale in this situation, that is by the way nonexistent. I just wish you could self destruct so I could know that you're not doing better without me. I think you are doing better, not because of the lack of my presence, just because you've found whatever you may have been looking for but I don't even know if you were looking for something. I just wish you weren't so damn happy and that I wasn't so damn miserable. The fact is that I'm not really miserable but the fact that you're so damn happy brings me really down. I don't want to talk to you, I just want to sit you down and drug you up and I want you to scrutinize every aspect of your life, and then I want you to sober up and regret it. I just want you to suffer a little. I think this maybe a little sadistic but I just want what I want.